Just received my 2005 focal review yesterday after a come back from a 2 days leave. I reached office at around 8:30 am. Making myself a cup of hot white coffee, and started running thru all the 670+ emails I’ve received for the past 2 days. I came across an email which was sent out by my boss to all members in my team. The content was somehow heart striking. It says that we have 2 promotion this year, and they are so-and-so. Of course my name wasn’t there.

It was a hard time for me to accept it. All these while I’ve been waiting and was so confident of getting a promotion to Senior this year. My boss even hinted me several times during our 1-on-1 that he will show some returns in my hardwork. Anyway, to say that I was depressed was somewhat an understatement during the hour. It was like I’ve been waiting for ages before my boss invited me into a meeting room for 1-on-1 at around 11am.

Anyway, we had a open-hearted discussion. He told me that he they actually did propose on my promotion this year, just that the top management in S.J. turned it down. I somehow buy what he says. He asked of my expectation for this year’s increment, and I told him that I expected something around the same number as last year, around w%, or maybe a bit more, x%. Well, y% was something I never expected. Anyway, that was an acceptable number J The next thing was stock option. Before showing me the numbers, he forewarned me to expect a little reduction in numbers as top management has by far reducing all stocks options for this year by around 70%. Well, my number was xxx. To be honest, I somehow didn’t feel anything about the options. Anyway, the whole session seen my boss kept on telling me to be patient, patient and patient as things will get better next year, he PROMISE. As a guy with no initiation of negotiating with superiors, and one that doesn’t like to discuss much on facts that have been laid down, I showed him my acceptance, and that’s all I can say.

Anyway, the 1-on-1 session ended within 30minutes, just in time for lunch. While having lunch with Mut and Pimp, and even after that, my mind kept on telling me to overcome the sadness, but I just somehow needed more time. Anyway, it’s all about your mind playing tricks with you. I reread the focal review carefully, and more in depth. In the Strength & Weaknesses page, it says that my weaknesses are “Meeting commitments and follow thru”. I somehow think that it’s quite true. As a support team member, we have tons of scripts to maintain. When I am into something, and when some guys from other department kept on calling me on the phone, I will always shut them down, and reject answering the phone call. Yeah. That’s me. I think I’ve not doing my job up to my responsibility level. The other 2 on my team who got promoted wasn’t actually having an edge on my on their skills or whatsoever, but when it comes to job responsibility and follow ups on supports, I dearly respect their achievement on this part.

Anyway, after getting my mind set, tricks are gone from my mind. I felt anew again. Refreshed and Reborn. I sincerely congratulated my 2 counterparts who got promoted, and set a new target for myself, to be a better support team member, and be more attentive to customers’ request and complains. I’ve been always an optimistic guy (as what others always say that is how I perceived myself), and well, I believe I am truly are J Hahahahaha :D